...sorry.
I feel like I am constantly in a battle. I am always trying to reconcile who I am with who I feel I should be. I have so many friends who are married/engaged/parents, or are in their career and I am working at an Apple store living in a crappy apartment with 2 people I only kinda like.
I had so much promise. I was so smart when I was a kid. I had the world in front of me and I gave it up to do theatre, something that I love.
Well, I am working in retail and haven't done theatre in months, and I am only trying to survive at this point. Is this what I moved across the country for?
Life is complicated and takes time to sort out, this I know. I've grown to feel comfortable with that idea. Well, as comfortable as one can be with ambiguity. I hate the idea of 'not knowing'.
People tell me to be patient, that life with come. Well, patience isn't something I have much of. I want to believe that if you work hard, good things happen. But sometimes there is more than that. You must be patient and wait for the stars to align. Well, I don't care much for the stars. I want to know what my path is. I want to know where I will end up. I want to know why I am here. I want to know it all.
I've never been good at waiting. Will I be able to bide my time? Is this what I am supposed to be doing? I wish I knew.
