They say you don't know what you have 'till its gone, but I think it works both ways. This is now the second time I've really wanted something until I actually got it. Both grad school and now ABT were things I wanted to do, until they were possible. I got into UCI, I got offered the job at ABT, but as soon as I thought about taking them, I no longer wanted it.
I just feel that there is too much left for me to do here in NYC. I have spent the last 14 months building a life here, and I am not ready to throw it away to start all over again. I love this city. There is some strange energy that I can't describe that keeps me from leaving. I may not love it here every day, but as soon as I think about actually leaving, I feel sick to my stomach.
It is time to dig my feet in and try even harder to make this work.
"Decide what to be and go be it" - Avett Brothers
No comments:
Post a Comment